Happy Holidays! I wanted to share a special moment from the hilarious story, “Christmas Eve, 1981.”
The story comes from the recollection of my then fifteen-year old son, and may represent youthful enlargement on some of the facts. Any alteration does not really change the story’s moment. In my own autobiographical writings I always try to be fully truthful.
“Despite our dismissal by Uncle Arnie, we guys didn’t go home. Instead we waited nearby, hidden, in greedy anticipation of those gorgeously unclad girls making a break up the beach for the back of Uncle Arnie’s car. We weren’t disappointed. I can still see that race in my mind’s eye, those lovely bouncing boobs and buns reflecting the moonlight.
What happened next was, in our ignorance, totally unexpected. The timing was perfect. Just after the girls jumped into the car, with Uncle Arnie mockingly holding his hands over his eyes, a police car turned into the parking lot. Uncle Arnie tried to sneak away with his load of naked girls, his wheels spinning as he went nowhere, his axel secretly secured to a huge tree. Smoke started to rise around his tires from the previously scattered smoke-bomb powders, just as the police car moved suspiciously toward him. It was indeed a red Buick, matching the description of a stolen car that had been called in earlier. Their red lights began to spin as furiously as Uncle Arnie’s tires.
At the same instant a big fire truck rounded the corner, so that now the two squealing sirens joined voices, an ear-splitting ruin of what had been a quiet, humid night with nothing but cricket sounds and the soft lulling of the surf and the blissful murmurs of the to-be-rescued young maidens.
Huge clouds of indescribably putrid smoke began to obscure the entire rear of the car as Uncle Arnie desperately attempted acceleration. The police spotlight probed through the smoke at the same time the fire hoses began their penetrations. Gallon after incredible gallon of water splashed on the car and its occupants…”
Here’s to holiday pranks that will bring your family cheer all year!
(Uncle Arnie, pre-prank)